Well-Adjusted Person does not Criticize

“The contented, well-adjusted person has not need to look for flaws in others.”  (One Day at a Time – Al-Anon, pg. 92)  Wow.  How simple.  How many well adjusted people do we know.  It seems we don’t even use the words “well-adjusted” anymore.  I think it was sometime in the 1950’s that there were black and white, propagandized movies of how the teen should and could be “well-adjusted.”  This would be seen in health class of teens across America.  Today, well adjusted doesn’t seem so important. 

But, think of this.  The well-adjusted person is able to adjust him or herself to just about anything that comes their way.  They can focus on their own life, rather than criticise or try to change others. 

Talk radio, or rather “squawk radio.”  We here them criticize each other or worse focusing on what the other party is doing “bad.”  Do they really think that anyone is going to listen and say, “hey, you know what?  What they say really makes sense.  I think I will change my political views.”  I don’t think so.  Perhaps, we should focus on what we could do better rather than put down those around us.  Perhaps, the world would change a lot faster and for the better, if each person really focused, in on their own life.  Really thought about, “what could I do to make the world a better place.”  I know this sounds Pollyannish, but I think it is crucial. 

Couples come in for therapy.  I ask them what they would want in counseling.  Many times, it is change the other person.  Rarely is it that I have a well adjusted person say, “I really struggle with listening to my wife” or “I easily get mad and him and I want to stop.” 

In recovery, we learn that the only person I can change is myself.  The things cannot change is everything else.  I can have courage today to start look at what I need to change and pray that He will give me the strength, courage and power to do this.

By God’s grace,

Erik Bohlin, M.A.

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