This blog is dedicated to those in recovery from addiction.
There is no greater struggle than to struggle against oneself. You can more easily try to force the world around you do do what you want it to do. Any war that exists started in the place. But what about the war within oneself?
You think you can do it. Then you realize it is another day, another morning and you wake up realizing that you are where you were yesterday. With the drinking, drugs, the eating, the spending, the gambling, and your sexuality. How did this start? Why is it here we think?
I remember a joke as a kid when I was about 10 years old about how this man is having a nightmare. He is pushing on this door all night with a sign on it. His friend asks, “what did the sign say?” It said, “Pull.” I thought this joke was funny at the time. Now I think about how many of us are pushing when we should be pulling. When I go to a store about once a year, I find myself in that situation. There is no sign on the door, so I think. I push and nothing happens. Then I quickly realize that I should pull. I get an internal chuckle out of the experience.
We push, when we should pull.
One of the biggest secrets in recovery is that we need to constant check out paradigm. Our grid. We are at the mercy of our perceptions. And here is an interesting thought. It really isn’t a secret. It is not some special knowledge only given to a few. It is for everyone. But why does it feel like a secret. It is a “secret” because the disease distorts our perceptions so badly, that we really think what we think is really accurate.
“The secret is to constantly be aware of your perception of things.”
We may blame others and minimize our own wrongs. We may really think there isn’t a problem with something when there really is. And this isn’t just about drinking. We may have children that are having issues, but we can’t see them or we don’t want to see them.
On the other hand, we may actually see problems in a situation when there really isn’t a problem. If there aren’t enough problems to worry about today, we will worry about problems that haven’t manifested themselves yet.
“What if I get a disease?”
“What if I can’t pay the bills?”
“What if I lose my job?”
We might begin to see what our perceptions do to us. Maybe we can laugh at ourselves and begin to think more clearly. Maybe, by God’s Grace, we can see more and more reality of what our own actions are. Maybe then we can see more clearly how people are responding to us.
by God’s Grace,